he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
