the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
