Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
