i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
