As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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