Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
