Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
