don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
