I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
