Will you blow on my dice?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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