Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
