I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
