For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
