No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
