I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
