i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
