yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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