He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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