I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
