I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
