I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
