I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
