I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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