is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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