it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
