I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
