Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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