we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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