the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
