the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
