so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
