he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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