Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
