dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
