just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You may now shotgun with the bride
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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