everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
