you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and she was petting her beer can
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
