saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
