Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
