My room smells like vodka and shame
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
