can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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