I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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