i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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