He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
