If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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