Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
