ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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