next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
