so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
