haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Sober January is a disaster.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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